When you feel it, you'll know

Another year has passed and all I have to say is: Good Riddance!  Last year was a difficult one for me, full of frustrations, life changes and more than anything, confusion.  When the countdown started I felt nothing but relief.  Now, I feel like relief can come in many different shapes, depending on the person.  For me, it came in the shape of a bedazzled champagne flute, sending me dancing and sparkling into 2011.  But as the night wore on, I realized that this lifestyle surrounding me, spilling drinks on my sassy flapper dress, asking my name then forgetting it ten seconds later and continuing to show me that tequila cannot actually pass as a breath mint (yea that's right guys, your breath was nasty), is not something that I want.  This random hook-up, too drunk to stand mentality has never been a part of my life and now, more than ever, I don't want to surround myself with it.  Or maybe I should just not be at the bar when the lights come on and people get desperate :)  This is not to say that I didn't have a blast, because I did.  Three of my favorite people gave me a night I'll never forget with some amazing one-liners that no one will ever truly understand except for us.  Wink face or smiley?  Overall it was a great night.

But what does this all mean for me?  My career?  My love life (ha!)?  My overall outlook, I guess.  Lets start with career, its been something that I've been really thinking about, and I guess you can say that i've been stressing.  I am, after all, a woman, and will over think everything.  What can I say, its part of my DNA.  I heard a song at my favorite little tea shop on Broadway and it has forced me to figure out a few things.  It spoke about how you can't change the way the world works, people will always be more concerned with their own lives and how they are content to be oblivious to the suffering of others.  Ignorance is bliss, if you will.  But he also says "Love will set me free."  And this, I felt, is so true.  The love of the children who are forced into slavery, the women who are forced into prostitution, the people who go hungry are so important, but are so often overlooked.  I guess you can see that it really moved me, such a powerful song.

I've always known that I want to work in human rights, but I haven't been able to figure out how to go about doing that.  Toying with the ideas of journalism school or law school really hasn't done me any good on the job front for right now.  I decided that I'm just going to jump into it.  Why wait?!  I don't want to wake up one morning, realize that i'm 30 (giant gasp!) and have done nothing with my life so far.  Yes, I guess Peace Corps counts for something, but development work is a bit different from what I want to do.  I won't even get into my views on development in 3rd world countries, I could go on for days!  Alas, I will resist the urge.  Anyway, I've already contacted some trafficking NGO's in Chicago and am planning on attending an art auction/wine + chocolate tasting/ panel discussion/ book signing that is sponsored by these anti-slavery groups to support Sex Trafficking Prevention month.  Which is January by the way.  I'm diving in head first and I certainly hope the pool is full... That would really kind of suck if it wasn't :)

Moving along though, the comical love life of Sarah Knight.  Last year, as we all know, was difficult.  But, I did have some pretty interesting situations.  For example, one guy tried to kiss me and I threw up a double thumbs up in front of my face, completely blocking any ability to reach my lips.  Great move, but I have never gotten such a weird look from someone.  But come on dude, I JUST met you!  As entertaining as this was, I'm hoping to not have anymore interactions like this one.  My goal for this year is to focus on me.  Work on getting into the trafficking NGO's, spending time on the things I love to do and just having a great time.  If I date someone, wonderful!  But if not, that's great too!  Hey, i'm 24.... I want to enjoy it before i'm 30 (double gasp + almost falling off my chair).  Can I just stay this age forever?  Haha!

The eternal optimist in me has given me a great start to the new year.  And when you feel it, you do know!  I spent last night sitting outside on my balcony in the frozen tundra with a glass of wine, just evaluating and getting really excited for this year.  I felt it for sure!  (that's what she said)  So Happy New Year and I hope all of you are feeling something close to what I am.  Or who knows, maybe I'm just a crazy person :)