I love this :)

Ode to a Power Suit

To be sung to the tune of "Homework oh Homework":

Power suit, power suit, you make me insane,
I wish you would go back to where you first came.
Just 'cuz i'm all grown and I want to succeed,
Does not mean a man-look is just what I need!

I'd rather walk naked in a den filled with squirrels,
than have people question if I am a girl!
Power suit, power suit get out of my house,
Or else I'll send a big Senegal mouse!

I simply can't see who came up with this notion,
I think you'd look better down under the ocean.
Power suit, power suit, sure you are scholastic,
but in you or not, I still look fantastic!

For any of you who know me, getting me in a business suit is the modern day equivalent of Curly Sue being forced to wear tights.  While she rolls around on the ground making it utterly impossible to either pick her up, or get her out the door in those itchy tights (some of us like to refer to that technique as the "gumby baby" move), I choose to be a little more mature in my tantrums.  Mocking the 1980's shoulder pads, I'll probably just go on about how I look like a man, or like a 90-year-old woman, grumble on about how we shouldn't have to dress like men to be taken seriously (yes, i'm a feminist), then shoot a couple of dirty looks to whomever happens to be pressuring me into said power suit.

Who knows why it is that I am so anti-business suit.  Perhaps it is a deep-seated stubbornness and refusal to give up the things that make me, well me!  Maybe this unintentional rebellion and determination to cling to my individuality is what drives me to believe that despite my nose ring, tattoo and fabulous suit-free wardrobe, these middle-aged corporate big shots will take a chance on a young, Africa-loving, bead-wearing free spirit.  Somehow, I just don't think this is feasible. 

To make matters worse, I am told that in interviews, I should wear modestly low heals, no big jewelry and take off my nail polish.  Seriously Corporate America, are you trying to KILL me?!  Yes, I'm sure my personality will shine through in the interview blah blah blah, but in those few hours without my nose ring, I feel like I'm living a lie!  (insert teenage melodramatic Sarah here).

Ok, here we go, interview time, here is my thought process:  I walk in, sit down and oh my god, I think this damn suit is strangling me!  Am I missing a shoulder pad?  Are they sneaking out of their designated places and coming to attack me?  Does my interviewer know i'm wearing shoulder pads?  Is he/she judging me for it?  Why aren't they wearing a suit?  Or if they are, is mine cuter?  I swear, this is not my first choice in outfits! And then I'm answering questions, putting on my confident face and kicking butt (or so I think I did today, fingers crossed).  This is too much stressing over an outfit if you ask me.

My main question, I suppose, is who's idea was it that successful women must wear masculine clothing to be taken seriously?  We should be taken seriously based on our accomplishments, attitude and ability to do the job instead of trying to fit the businessman image.  We are, after all, women.  And you know what, you can take my cute clothes, but you can never take my freedom!!!!  And also, you can't make me stop reenacting Curly Sue every time I put on a suit :)

Follow up to the Aussie date attack, mate?

So while I had already written this guy off and deleted his number from my phone and consequently the whole event from my memory, he had not.  This afternoon I received a text message from said Aussie.  I laughed out loud.  So here you are, for your enjoyment and mine, a nice little text conversation:

Aussie Creeper:  "Hey, how's your week going?  Do you have any plans for tonight?"

Innocent little me:  Keep in mind this is after I laughed for about 3 hours

"Hey!  My week is going well, hope yours is too.  Sunday was nice, and you seem like a fun guy, but really not what I'm looking for right now.  If you ever get a group together for karaoke though, feel free to give me a call"

Aussie Creeper: "Sure, but can I ask what you thought I was looking for?  Or what you're looking for that you think i'm not?"

Innocent little me: "Well you made it seem like you were only interested in a hook up.  And while I'm not looking for anything serious right now, I'm not a hook up kind of girl."

Aussie Creeper: "Ha, I won't lie, that's about right.  Fair enough, take care."

Dude!  What the hell!  I was laughing so hard!  I guess its nice that he's honest, right?

The perils of dating: A dedication to the romantically challenged

One of the things that I feel bonds many women together is our mutual dating horror stories.  This could be true for men as well, but I mean, I'm not a guy so I don't know and some of the things that I've seen are those that I could never EVER see any of my female friends doing on a first date.  Ever.  I guess this is sort of a modern day dating how-not-to for my friends.

1. The impression factor: First impressions are key.  While you may have met the person in a bar, at a party, through a friend, whatever, the first date is your real first impression.  How do you carry yourself/what does he come up with to do for the day or evening.  These things are important.  This being said, I like look at how creative people can be with a date.  My best friend one time was taken to fly a helicopter and make blown glass.  I went to an island for seafood and fun beach time one afternoon (that was in Senegal though, obviously there are no islands in Chicago haha).  Another time I went to six flags which was fun to embrace my inner child.  Basically any kind of effort or thought at all will earn major points.  To start off without a real plan or time and leave it to the other person is pretty annoying.

2. Alcohol:  For me, and after some discussion with my lady friends, drinking on a first date is a huge turn off.  A glass of wine, a cocktail, a beer is fine, but don't get drunk!  Last night, I met a guy for a glass of wine at one of my favorite places because he neglected to actually plan a date.  While I had 2 glasses of wine, he had a total of 10 drinks (including a fishbowl of straight whiskey).  I was kind of impressed that he was still functioning, because I certainly would be in need of an emergency room visit, I was kind offended!  Did he need to be drunk to talk to me?  I bet if I pulled out my book and started reading he wouldn't have noticed.

3. Chit Chat:  Do not, I repeat, DO NOT under any circumstances call your date chubby.  This guy asked to see my license picture last night, so I showed it to him.  I always think its kind of funny to see peoples ID photos.  I'm 21 in mine and look like a baby :)  But, anyway, he looked at it, then looked back at me and said "Oh you look chubby here."  Seriously?!  No I don't you big jerk!  I am probably the furthest thing from a chubby kid as you can get!  Also big no-no's (and all of these were covered last night) would be to ask your date if she has ever used the men's bathroom (??), anything drug/sex related, tramp stamp tattoos, how he missed out on college whore-dom and wants to make up for it now (ew), etc.  And no, I have never used the men's room, because well, women dont' use urinals.

4. The first date kiss:  A questionable issue.  If you know the person from before and really hit it off, I think a kiss on the first date is totally acceptable.  But a tasteful, classy girl kiss, aka no pda make-out sesh.  At no point in a first date should you sneak attack your date with an inappropriate "date kiss," especially while she is in the middle of a sentence.  Apparently what I had to say was not that important.  I happened so quickly that I didn't even have time to put my double thumbs up in front of my face to block him, which is unfortunate.

5. End of the night:  After all of this, the guy had the nerve to ask me back to his place.  I respectfully declined and started to walk toward the el where he followed me, tried to sneak attack make-out me again and then told me it was my loss.  Seriously?  A classy lady will not go home with someone on the first date, just a fact.  Will someone please give this guy some dating tips?  Needless to say, he will not be getting a second date.

6. Phones:  Just put them away.  End of story.

Good luck to all my dating friends, hopefully none of you are having experiences like this.  Such a creep!

Coffee Shop Confessions

"It is the curse of all journalists, I suppose, to be writing a story even as you are living it" - Mariane Pearl

Another stifling July day in the Chicago suburbs, I drive down Greggs Parkway, windows open, and sing at the top of my lungs to Liz Phair.  My best friend and sidekick at the time is in the passengers seat.  It was the perfect belt-it-out car song and, to us, embodied everything we thought our lives should at that moment.  Looking back, maybe I should have actually listened to the lyrics of "Why Can't I."  Then I would have realized just how creeptastic that song actually was like I did this afternoon through my nostalgia for some kind of adolescent innocence.  But, pulling up to a stoplight somewhere in Vernon Hills, my windblown hair stuck in my lip gloss and happy as a clam, I look over at my friend and think "I always want to remember how I feel at this exact moment."

Who knows why it is that we remember the things we do, or even in this case, why I wanted to remember this moment of my 17-year-old life so badly.  To be honest, I really can't remember why I was so content.  I can see every single part of that afternoon, from what I was wearing right down to the faint smell of chlorine that seemed to follow me around wherever I went; an occupational hazard of being a varsity diver I suppose.  I think its kind of funny that even in my teenage dreams (well from age 15-this day) of being a fashion designer or neo-natologist (huge spectrum, I know), I was actually shaping my brain for a life of journalism and picking out those minor details that, for most people, are neglected.

I would have never guessed that one line in a book that I have read so many times would trigger such a memory and such emotions, but I guess that's just how it works.  Today, I went to a new little coffee shop and snuggled up on a couch to read and prepare for my interview tomorrow.  When my latte came out with a flower drawn in the foam, I was beyond excited!  Maybe its just my love of the little things in life or my thought process and outlook for the day, but I thought to myself "I always want to remember how I feel at this moment."  I guess I'll never change, but I can't say that's a bad thing.  Maybe these memories and this journalistic "curse" will help me write a book someday.  Maybe.

When you feel it, you'll know

Another year has passed and all I have to say is: Good Riddance!  Last year was a difficult one for me, full of frustrations, life changes and more than anything, confusion.  When the countdown started I felt nothing but relief.  Now, I feel like relief can come in many different shapes, depending on the person.  For me, it came in the shape of a bedazzled champagne flute, sending me dancing and sparkling into 2011.  But as the night wore on, I realized that this lifestyle surrounding me, spilling drinks on my sassy flapper dress, asking my name then forgetting it ten seconds later and continuing to show me that tequila cannot actually pass as a breath mint (yea that's right guys, your breath was nasty), is not something that I want.  This random hook-up, too drunk to stand mentality has never been a part of my life and now, more than ever, I don't want to surround myself with it.  Or maybe I should just not be at the bar when the lights come on and people get desperate :)  This is not to say that I didn't have a blast, because I did.  Three of my favorite people gave me a night I'll never forget with some amazing one-liners that no one will ever truly understand except for us.  Wink face or smiley?  Overall it was a great night.

But what does this all mean for me?  My career?  My love life (ha!)?  My overall outlook, I guess.  Lets start with career, its been something that I've been really thinking about, and I guess you can say that i've been stressing.  I am, after all, a woman, and will over think everything.  What can I say, its part of my DNA.  I heard a song at my favorite little tea shop on Broadway and it has forced me to figure out a few things.  It spoke about how you can't change the way the world works, people will always be more concerned with their own lives and how they are content to be oblivious to the suffering of others.  Ignorance is bliss, if you will.  But he also says "Love will set me free."  And this, I felt, is so true.  The love of the children who are forced into slavery, the women who are forced into prostitution, the people who go hungry are so important, but are so often overlooked.  I guess you can see that it really moved me, such a powerful song.

I've always known that I want to work in human rights, but I haven't been able to figure out how to go about doing that.  Toying with the ideas of journalism school or law school really hasn't done me any good on the job front for right now.  I decided that I'm just going to jump into it.  Why wait?!  I don't want to wake up one morning, realize that i'm 30 (giant gasp!) and have done nothing with my life so far.  Yes, I guess Peace Corps counts for something, but development work is a bit different from what I want to do.  I won't even get into my views on development in 3rd world countries, I could go on for days!  Alas, I will resist the urge.  Anyway, I've already contacted some trafficking NGO's in Chicago and am planning on attending an art auction/wine + chocolate tasting/ panel discussion/ book signing that is sponsored by these anti-slavery groups to support Sex Trafficking Prevention month.  Which is January by the way.  I'm diving in head first and I certainly hope the pool is full... That would really kind of suck if it wasn't :)

Moving along though, the comical love life of Sarah Knight.  Last year, as we all know, was difficult.  But, I did have some pretty interesting situations.  For example, one guy tried to kiss me and I threw up a double thumbs up in front of my face, completely blocking any ability to reach my lips.  Great move, but I have never gotten such a weird look from someone.  But come on dude, I JUST met you!  As entertaining as this was, I'm hoping to not have anymore interactions like this one.  My goal for this year is to focus on me.  Work on getting into the trafficking NGO's, spending time on the things I love to do and just having a great time.  If I date someone, wonderful!  But if not, that's great too!  Hey, i'm 24.... I want to enjoy it before i'm 30 (double gasp + almost falling off my chair).  Can I just stay this age forever?  Haha!

The eternal optimist in me has given me a great start to the new year.  And when you feel it, you do know!  I spent last night sitting outside on my balcony in the frozen tundra with a glass of wine, just evaluating and getting really excited for this year.  I felt it for sure!  (that's what she said)  So Happy New Year and I hope all of you are feeling something close to what I am.  Or who knows, maybe I'm just a crazy person :)