One of the things that I feel bonds many women together is our mutual dating horror stories. This could be true for men as well, but I mean, I'm not a guy so I don't know and some of the things that I've seen are those that I could never EVER see any of my female friends doing on a first date. Ever. I guess this is sort of a modern day dating how-not-to for my friends.
1. The impression factor: First impressions are key. While you may have met the person in a bar, at a party, through a friend, whatever, the first date is your real first impression. How do you carry yourself/what does he come up with to do for the day or evening. These things are important. This being said, I like look at how creative people can be with a date. My best friend one time was taken to fly a helicopter and make blown glass. I went to an island for seafood and fun beach time one afternoon (that was in Senegal though, obviously there are no islands in Chicago haha). Another time I went to six flags which was fun to embrace my inner child. Basically any kind of effort or thought at all will earn major points. To start off without a real plan or time and leave it to the other person is pretty annoying.
2. Alcohol: For me, and after some discussion with my lady friends, drinking on a first date is a huge turn off. A glass of wine, a cocktail, a beer is fine, but don't get drunk! Last night, I met a guy for a glass of wine at one of my favorite places because he neglected to actually plan a date. While I had 2 glasses of wine, he had a total of 10 drinks (including a fishbowl of straight whiskey). I was kind of impressed that he was still functioning, because I certainly would be in need of an emergency room visit, I was kind offended! Did he need to be drunk to talk to me? I bet if I pulled out my book and started reading he wouldn't have noticed.
3. Chit Chat: Do not, I repeat, DO NOT under any circumstances call your date chubby. This guy asked to see my license picture last night, so I showed it to him. I always think its kind of funny to see peoples ID photos. I'm 21 in mine and look like a baby :) But, anyway, he looked at it, then looked back at me and said "Oh you look chubby here." Seriously?! No I don't you big jerk! I am probably the furthest thing from a chubby kid as you can get! Also big no-no's (and all of these were covered last night) would be to ask your date if she has ever used the men's bathroom (??), anything drug/sex related, tramp stamp tattoos, how he missed out on college whore-dom and wants to make up for it now (ew), etc. And no, I have never used the men's room, because well, women dont' use urinals.
4. The first date kiss: A questionable issue. If you know the person from before and really hit it off, I think a kiss on the first date is totally acceptable. But a tasteful, classy girl kiss, aka no pda make-out sesh. At no point in a first date should you sneak attack your date with an inappropriate "date kiss," especially while she is in the middle of a sentence. Apparently what I had to say was not that important. I happened so quickly that I didn't even have time to put my double thumbs up in front of my face to block him, which is unfortunate.
5. End of the night: After all of this, the guy had the nerve to ask me back to his place. I respectfully declined and started to walk toward the el where he followed me, tried to sneak attack make-out me again and then told me it was my loss. Seriously? A classy lady will not go home with someone on the first date, just a fact. Will someone please give this guy some dating tips? Needless to say, he will not be getting a second date.
6. Phones: Just put them away. End of story.
Good luck to all my dating friends, hopefully none of you are having experiences like this. Such a creep!
Wow. That sounds like a HORRIBLE experience. I think I would have been ready to go home when the guy said he was trying to make up for missing whore-dom in college. That is obviously what he wanted from you if he told you it was "your loss" because you didn't make out with him. Gross. If he was really interested in ever seeing you again, he wouldn't have been such an arse.
ReplyDeleteSorry for your dating woes!
No redeeming qualities about that date! He definitely does not get a date #2. If he asks again, you say 'No you don't, you big jerk!'
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