Coffee Shop Confessions

"It is the curse of all journalists, I suppose, to be writing a story even as you are living it" - Mariane Pearl

Another stifling July day in the Chicago suburbs, I drive down Greggs Parkway, windows open, and sing at the top of my lungs to Liz Phair.  My best friend and sidekick at the time is in the passengers seat.  It was the perfect belt-it-out car song and, to us, embodied everything we thought our lives should at that moment.  Looking back, maybe I should have actually listened to the lyrics of "Why Can't I."  Then I would have realized just how creeptastic that song actually was like I did this afternoon through my nostalgia for some kind of adolescent innocence.  But, pulling up to a stoplight somewhere in Vernon Hills, my windblown hair stuck in my lip gloss and happy as a clam, I look over at my friend and think "I always want to remember how I feel at this exact moment."

Who knows why it is that we remember the things we do, or even in this case, why I wanted to remember this moment of my 17-year-old life so badly.  To be honest, I really can't remember why I was so content.  I can see every single part of that afternoon, from what I was wearing right down to the faint smell of chlorine that seemed to follow me around wherever I went; an occupational hazard of being a varsity diver I suppose.  I think its kind of funny that even in my teenage dreams (well from age 15-this day) of being a fashion designer or neo-natologist (huge spectrum, I know), I was actually shaping my brain for a life of journalism and picking out those minor details that, for most people, are neglected.

I would have never guessed that one line in a book that I have read so many times would trigger such a memory and such emotions, but I guess that's just how it works.  Today, I went to a new little coffee shop and snuggled up on a couch to read and prepare for my interview tomorrow.  When my latte came out with a flower drawn in the foam, I was beyond excited!  Maybe its just my love of the little things in life or my thought process and outlook for the day, but I thought to myself "I always want to remember how I feel at this moment."  I guess I'll never change, but I can't say that's a bad thing.  Maybe these memories and this journalistic "curse" will help me write a book someday.  Maybe.