Ode to a Power Suit

To be sung to the tune of "Homework oh Homework":

Power suit, power suit, you make me insane,
I wish you would go back to where you first came.
Just 'cuz i'm all grown and I want to succeed,
Does not mean a man-look is just what I need!

I'd rather walk naked in a den filled with squirrels,
than have people question if I am a girl!
Power suit, power suit get out of my house,
Or else I'll send a big Senegal mouse!

I simply can't see who came up with this notion,
I think you'd look better down under the ocean.
Power suit, power suit, sure you are scholastic,
but in you or not, I still look fantastic!

For any of you who know me, getting me in a business suit is the modern day equivalent of Curly Sue being forced to wear tights.  While she rolls around on the ground making it utterly impossible to either pick her up, or get her out the door in those itchy tights (some of us like to refer to that technique as the "gumby baby" move), I choose to be a little more mature in my tantrums.  Mocking the 1980's shoulder pads, I'll probably just go on about how I look like a man, or like a 90-year-old woman, grumble on about how we shouldn't have to dress like men to be taken seriously (yes, i'm a feminist), then shoot a couple of dirty looks to whomever happens to be pressuring me into said power suit.

Who knows why it is that I am so anti-business suit.  Perhaps it is a deep-seated stubbornness and refusal to give up the things that make me, well me!  Maybe this unintentional rebellion and determination to cling to my individuality is what drives me to believe that despite my nose ring, tattoo and fabulous suit-free wardrobe, these middle-aged corporate big shots will take a chance on a young, Africa-loving, bead-wearing free spirit.  Somehow, I just don't think this is feasible. 

To make matters worse, I am told that in interviews, I should wear modestly low heals, no big jewelry and take off my nail polish.  Seriously Corporate America, are you trying to KILL me?!  Yes, I'm sure my personality will shine through in the interview blah blah blah, but in those few hours without my nose ring, I feel like I'm living a lie!  (insert teenage melodramatic Sarah here).

Ok, here we go, interview time, here is my thought process:  I walk in, sit down and oh my god, I think this damn suit is strangling me!  Am I missing a shoulder pad?  Are they sneaking out of their designated places and coming to attack me?  Does my interviewer know i'm wearing shoulder pads?  Is he/she judging me for it?  Why aren't they wearing a suit?  Or if they are, is mine cuter?  I swear, this is not my first choice in outfits! And then I'm answering questions, putting on my confident face and kicking butt (or so I think I did today, fingers crossed).  This is too much stressing over an outfit if you ask me.

My main question, I suppose, is who's idea was it that successful women must wear masculine clothing to be taken seriously?  We should be taken seriously based on our accomplishments, attitude and ability to do the job instead of trying to fit the businessman image.  We are, after all, women.  And you know what, you can take my cute clothes, but you can never take my freedom!!!!  And also, you can't make me stop reenacting Curly Sue every time I put on a suit :)