Looking on the bright side

I've always felt that people who name their children things like "Grace" or "Chastity" are destined to live a life caring for a child who is accident prone or well, lets face it, doesn't value chastity in the way their parents may have wished.  But what happens when you opt for less of a jinx and name your blue eyed baby something like, oh I don't know, Sarah Louise?  One would think that she would not be cursed to a life of stumbling on invisible bumps in the sidewalk, fall down stairs randomly or trip in fall at very inopportune times such as right before a date, therefore being forced to play that damsel in distress role while being bandaged up in her bathroom by said gentleman.  I guess that part wasn't too bad :)

In the past month these instances of extreme grace have multiplied ten-fold.  Perhaps I have forgotten how to walk?  Maybe my feet are too small to allow me to balance (suggested by my wonderful lady friends)?  Personally, I think the sidewalk, street and basically any element of nature is actually jumping up from the earth to bite me.  Regardless, I seem to have found myself covered head-to-toe in bruises and in an emergency room waiting for stitches.  Luckily stitches weren't necessary this time though.  There is really nothing better than walking out of your gate with your leg covered in mud and blood just as you're supposed to go to a brewery.  Insert mortified Sarah here.  Seriously.  Amy tells me that my newly developed clumsiness is quite endearing.  Lets hope so.

Its funny, the ER doctors automatically assumed that since it was early on a Sunday morning, that this happened while intoxicated.  Sorry Dr. Not-McDreamy, I was completely sober.  Instead of stitches, I was bandaged up with surgical tape, gauze and an ace wrap.  I found the ace to be a little unnecessary and it actually made it harder to walk.  A giant bandaid, decorated with a smaller mustache bandaid, works just fine if you ask me.  So I started thinking.  What sorts of things can I do with this ace wrap?  With Halloween just around the corner, costumes were already on the brain.  Here were just a few ideas I came up with:

1.)  The Lingerie/ Creepy thong diaper.

2.) Somewhat inappropriate bra

3.) Coffee Drinking Mummy

4.) Work out/ Stretching tool

5.) Should I ever find myself somewhere that I need to scale a wall... boom, ace wrap.

 

At least, despite my inability to walk, I can always find a way to entertain myself and even more often, laugh hysterically through the embarrassment of cracking my leg open in front of a cute boy.  Oh well.