The single girl vs wedding season

Its a strange feeling when your friends start getting engaged, and crazier yet, actually getting married and having kids.  Before now, I've only known one close friend, from high school, who got married during our senior year of college.  We all made the long trip down to Georgia for the wedding festivities and a brief goodbye to her single life.  Ok, that part was just done by us single ladies after tequila shots and a little drink called "jet fuel."  Still to this day, I'm not sure exactly what was in it.  Perhaps it's because I don't see her anymore, other than through facebook, but I never really saw that as a huge impact on my life.  And I guess to be fair, when friends get married, it really doesn't effect my life at all. 

Now, with two friends recently engaged and a wedding to attend next week, my life is swirling with poofy white dresses resembling pastries, stories of bride/mom-zillas that usually end in tears and the horrifying question dreaded by singletons everywhere: Do you have a plus one?  A simple, yet necessary question.  But for those of us who's love life is quite comical most days and/or prefer not to take wedding photos solo/ with your parents or with your arm around a martini (I cringe at the thought), what is a polite response (other than a gasp)?  Simple.  To avoid an awkward situation by asking someone who is perhaps interested, perhaps not (its hard to tell), bring the best friend.  At least there is someone to take goofy pictures in the photo booth with and to excuse yourselves to get another martini at very opportune times such as couples dances and personal relationship questions.

Last night, while researching invitations for a work event, Hannah came across probably the best bridal website on the planet.  Filled with dresses, flowers, garters and honeymoon lingerie, I've never seen camouflage look so romantic.  My fear in someone picking this theme, and obviously not the only one, would be the very concept of camouflage.  Isn't that supposed to make you blend in to your surroundings?  "Sure honey, you can marry me, but you'll have to find me first."  I picture a scared looking, shifty-eyed woman sitting in a tree or shrub, face smeared with dirt and some twigs and leaves sticking out randomly from her tiara-ed hair. (http://camo.simplyformal.com/index.php/wedding/bridal-gowns.html)

But, as I looked through this surprisingly large selection of camo-gear, I was intrigued.  What other kind of bizarre and outside of the box weddings have people actually had?  Let me just say, I am in awe.  I've always known, by the absolutely ridiculous amount of wedding shows, that people can get a little, well, crazy, about their "big day."  But never in my life, has walking down the aisle dressed and painted green like Shrek and Fiona ever crossed my mind.  Ever.  I would think that if you were going to go for the whole fairy tale wedding idea, the ogres wouldn't be at the top of the list.  To each their own I suppose.  I expected to find your typical cult classic weddings: Star Wars, Star Trek, Lord of the Rings, etc.  And while I did come across a few of those, I was more surprised/terrified/insert shocking verb here at the other themes that came up on multiple occasions.  For example, nazi wedding.  Wow, really?  What the heck did that reception look like?  I really hope to god they made sure their guests were not minorities of any kind.  Granted, as I read further, it turned out that this was a WW2 reinactment wedding, but still.

Another option, for the free-spirited nudists of the world, is a body paint wedding.  This was actually a double wedding.  So, the brides painted white dresses on their bodies and wore white tutus, while the grooms were in painted tuxes.  Only.  Now, I'm a pretty open minded girl, but the thought of walking down an aisle to a free-balling hubby, just doesn't really sound appealing.  I feel like that would make the reception extremely awkward as well.  Naked dancing, hmmm.  It made me wonder, is everyone naked?  Or just the bride and groom?  If the whole wedding party is naked, I'm not okay with that.  Never, would I ever, want to have my dad walk me down the aisle that way.  That's just creepy, and disturbing and oh my god, I never what that thought in my head again!  Moving along...

Probably worse, and Hannah's worst nightmare was the clown wedding.  I don't think I need to say too much here, just think about it.  Pennywise wedding, so romantic!  But, I did come across some crazy ones too, not just disturbingly creepy and bizarre ones.  One couple decided to get married while in a shark cage in the water with great whites.  You know, nothing says love like impending death.  I guess everyone has their own preference for their big day, but if any of my friends decide to celebrate with anything as creepy as mentioned here, I will be terrified.  And to be honest, I don't think I could taunt sharks willingly, Deep Blue Sea was a scary movie and my name is not Samuel L. Jackson.  Although, if I bring someone to a theme ceremony, it would make for a much more interesting afternoon provided that I actually have a +1.  Bring it on wedding season!