La vie Chicagoenne: the good, the bad and the really freakin' weird

I used to think that my life in Senegal was filled with the weirdest experiences and everyday occurrences possible.  And that once I came home I would immediately fit right back into my place as cute, little urbanite and non-awkward human being.  False.  Turns out, I came back a completely changed person and can't ever be quite the same.  Not that this is a bad thing, I'd never want to change my experiences.  This being said, it makes American life interesting, to say the least.  Everyday is a new adventure to find something good, bad or just outright odd.

THE GOOD

When you are working in a job that is, let's just say, less than stimulating, its the little things in life that come to be the highlights of your day.  For example, breakfast number two at 930, lunch at 100, my extremely inappropriate conversations about men with Amy and Tiffany throughout the day, and my personal favorite is my el ride home on Wednesdays.  I suppose this could go in the "really freakin' weird" section, but its such an awesome thing that it has to go with the good.  Every week, during rush hour, there is a little thing called commuter theater that goes on.  Its in between the Sedgwick and Armitage stops on the brown line and the first time I saw it, I couldn't be sure if I actually had, or if I had just had some weird subconscious fantasy that was being oddly acted out in the form of a non-mefloquine hallucination.  As I gazed out the window, mentally preparing myself for hippie yoga class and hoping that a glass of wine would magically appear in my hands as soon as I stepped into my apartment, into my line of vision came a giant cardboard cut out of a shark.  And it was attacking a guy who was visibly distressed by said shark attack.  I glanced around the train.  No one seemed to have noticed.  Seriously guys?!  I was a little freaked out and somewhat offended that no one else acknowledged my subconscious activities, but to be honest I kind of enjoyed it.  A few days later, I had forgotten about the whole thing.  Until, the next Wednesday, squished against the door of a crowded train, my actor friends were back.  With a giant smile, I watched as a giant, roaring bear chased someone around the roof.  Again, no one noticed but me.  This past week, my absolute favorite, and the one that made me burst into awkwardly loud and uncontrollable laughter,  both men stood on different levels of a parking garage, dressed as gnomes, and licking big cardboard popsicles.  I couldn't control it, I laughed all the way to yoga.  Got some seriously weird looks, but whatever, I've seen worse on the el.  I am convinced that I am just the newest member of a large underground cult following of these popsicle-licking gnome-men.  Keep it up guys!  You're making this girl's week!


THE BAD

Now, considering I've spent the past few months as frozen as that cardboard popsicle mentioned earlier, you'd think that the worst thing I could think of that happens in this city is the weather, or should I say frigid arctic tundra of death.  However, I grew up around this area, I knew what I was getting into, but yes, I am ready for it to be over.  To be honest, while I totally want to ride one and chase people around on Belmont, its segways that are the most ridiculously bad thing in Chicago.  We've all seen it, the giant group of segway-ers riding around Millenium Park and Navy Pier fully equipped with nalgenes and helmets.  Because leaning forward on wheels is so labor intensive and dangerous.  On multiple occasions I've heard people talking that it should be the pedestrian's obligation to throw something in front of or at these athletes.  I don't want to get on one now out of sheer terror that someone will throw an apple at my head, or a stick in front of my wheels like in Big Daddy.  Maybe that's why they wear the helmets.


I mean, can you imagine being pulled over by a segway cop?  Or worse, getting a ticket from one?  What if you were getting arrested, instead of ducking your head into the back of the cop car, would he piggy back you all the way to the station?  Or is there a side car?  Either way, its an embarrassment to humanity and I disapprove.  I mean seriously, shouldn't it say something when even the company owner dies by riding his segway off a cliff?  This being said, if anyone wants to have an awesomely BAD day with me, I'm totally down for a helmeted segway excursion, provided I can chase someone with it and do jumps like on skateboards.  If not, forget it.

THE REALLY FREAKIN' WEIRD

I remember a few years ago, I think when I was in high school, so probably more than a few, there was this huge ordeal about someone seeing the Virgin Mary in their grilled cheese sandwich.  Personally, my grilled cheese never stays around on my plate long enough for me to decide if it looks like a biblical figure or not.  But here in Chicago, the Virgin has made her appearance on more than just a tasty sandwich and after multiple graffiti attempts, it seems as though she is here to stay.  Under the I94 overpass on Fullerton avenue, a shrine has been made to a very special salt stain.  Thats right, even our winter drip marks are holy.  Every time I drive by, the candles are lit, the flowers are fresh and that friendly hobo seems to be looking more and more blessed.  Who was the first person to say that it looked like the Virgin Mary.  I've seen this salt stain, and in my opinion, it could just as easily look like one of the minions from Despicable Me.  Like, really.   But then I don't think anyone would go see, except Hannah and I.  Its just very bizarre.  But again, if anyone wants to go, I'm game.  I'll even bring the candles, and perhaps some wine?  Is that legal?

City life never ceases to surprise me, but I'm learning to love it.  With ridiculous experiences and a soon to be new roomie, I'm sure things will just keep getting more interesting.  We went shopping for things at target today and I nearly fell down laughing in the middle of the vacuum aisle, so it should be fun.