Passion: Not for the timid

I can remember dreaming, when I was in my pre-teen or early teenage years of all the milestones and special events that I would experience on the road to becoming a woman.  Its funny to think back at my 15-year-old self being completely grossed out, but still somehow spinning, over my first kiss.  Now, having lived it and being much more experienced in the idiocracies and cluelessness of teenage boys and sometimes twenty-something men, I would tell little teenage me that a bad kisser is just not worth it.  Especially one that leaves you wondering if you licked an ashtray or got hit in the face with a water balloon.  Lessons we must learn throughout time though, I suppose.  Either way, the first step was memorable and learned from - I.E. the Aussie.

But, lets fast-forward a few years, skip baby's first love, her first heartbreak, first "want to punch that d-bag in the face" moment and focus on the present.  One of my best friends has recently moved back out to the suburbs and for her housewarming party decided to have the girls over for a housewarming 'passion' party.  However, I'm not sure if "baby's first passion party" is one that should go in the book.  For those of you who are unfamiliar with the term, it's a party, usually with just girls or a few fun gay friends, where everyone can talk about their experiences in the boudoir and buy toys, lotions, candles etc.  I think that all women should attend one of these parties at least once in their life as it is the ultimate stop sign on the road to lady-hood.  If not to experiment and learn about new things, then to laugh at the one friend who giggles anytime someone says 'nipple' or laugh at the person who forgets which arm is for smelling and which is for licking (testing edible lotions and powders vs. pheromone perfumes and oils).  Classic.  I went to one of these parties in college, but I didn't know the girls too well so it ended up being a bit awkward.  This was quite the opposite.

Friday after work, the ladies and I hopped on the train to make the trekk out to Downer's Grove to see Ms. Ali, bottle of champagne in hand.  In Chicago, drinking openly on the metra train is not only allowed, but I can't remember a time being on the train where I haven't seen someone drinking.  So we popped open the bottle, poured it into our classy plastic champagne flutes and popped a phallic jello shot into our mouths.  Upon arrival, we were greeted with treats and Caramel Apple Martinis.  As our consultant began to set up, I couldn't help but wonder what would happen if the babysitter had to cancel and Ali's son, Selby, came home to a house filled with.... well.... not quite the toys he's used to seeing around.  Scarred for life, is my guess.  Anyway, the martinis were flowing and the fun began.

Ali, being the host, immediately recieved a soy candle that was safe to pour the wax on your partner in a very "Ricky Martin - Livin' La Vida Loca music video" type way.  So yes, the night was a success to say the least.  Four martinis, a bottle of champagne and a few jello shots later, we all made our purchases and headed home.  I actually had to be picked up by my parents since I was puppy-sitting for the weekend, which proved to be pretty entertaining.  Between the high-school-esque awkwardness of being picked up, the bag of extremely inappropriate jello shots that would soon make its way to my parents refridgerator and trying to lick the remaining chocolate flavored shimmer powder off my arm in the backseat, I wonder what they must have thought.  Either way, I couldn't remember what I bought.

One week later, almost, I felt like a kid on christmas morning.  My box had been delivered and I had NO idea what was in it.  I anxiously awaited 5:00.  Now, I'm not going to get into too much detail, as a woman must have her secrets, but amongst the peanuts and box stuffing I found a feather (just one), a chapstick called "nibblers," said chocolate shimmer powder and a certain something that I really think will give me mixed emotions whenever I see a butterfly, oh my!  Result? A pleasant surprise to the majority of the contents and a slight confusion to the feather.  Couldn't I just go to Michaels?  Or maybe chase a bird around for a while?  Whatever.  And I am currently wearing the "nibblers" because it makes my lips all tingly and I feel rebelous wearing it at work :)  Anyway, I strongly recommend that ever group of girlfriends do this, it was tons of fun!